In spite of years spent applying creams and potents which were advertised to prevent aging, eating healthy foods and sleeping the prescribed number of hours a night, I have become an older woman. The evolution of my life journey has been and continues to be interesting, challenging…. and totally amazing.
There are many psychological and biological theories which define the life stages of the adult female. However for the purposes of our discussion, we only have to google “Womanhood” to come up with four accepted phases: The Maiden, The Mother, The Queen and The Crone.
I fondly remember my life as a Maiden. Being extremely curious, somewhat driven and having lots of interests, I sought and received an excellent interdisciplinary education and taught at almost every academic level. As I was also very curious, I took every opportunity to travel and explore life to the fullest including dealing Black Jack one summer in Lake Tahoe while in graduate school.
My “Motherhood” stage, or second act, was spent with a smart, interesting, exceptionally creative, and now deceased, husband, who encouraged me to get my Ph.D. and LPC which,in turn, provided the expertise to create two Human Resources Consulting Firms as well as a Retained Executive Search firm. For years those businesses successfully provided a variety of services to individuals and corporations across the country. During that time I also served as the managing partner of an International Human Resources consulting firm that practiced in 33 countries.
Now, near the end of my third developmental “Queen” stage, for 25 years I have owned and operated an Art Gallery in the Paseo Arts District in Oklahoma City while also managing several area properties. Operating an art gallery really is transformative. It utilizes and expands on all my interests and skills resulting in my ability to live many lives simultaneously. Ironically the Manager of my Gallery has called me “Queen” since he began working for me. When I walk in the door, he says “Good Morning Queen.” He always refers to me as “Queen.”
The fourth and final stage of my womanhood, which I have been trying to postphone, is the final stage: the “Crone” stage. It is defined as a period of Wisdom, Reflection, and Legacy. But, “Crone?” That’s a cringe worthy word. I certainly don’t want to be greeted at work with “Good Morning, Crone,” no matter how cheerfully. But having a dedicated period of time to thoughtfully focus on important legacy issues, will be great. However, I am experiencing some sadness and anxiety knowing this will be the final stage of my life.
Nevertheless, I’m hopeful that my “Chroneship” will be as wonderful as the other stages of my life have been. There has been purpose and clarity in not only learning who and what I am, but in understanding and appreciating others. I’m so old I can be friends with men and women of all ages without creating jealousy or resentment. Consequently meaningful and true friendships can and and will continue to develop. A lot of the decisions that, when I was younger, kept me awake at night have long been answered and the consequences dealt with. I’m no longer “becoming” because I “am.” But I still have a lot of work to do before I die. So, perhaps accepting the fact I am, indeed a “Crone,” may be just the prelude to participating in the most interesting and rewarding stage of my life.
